Don't Know Much About History
Back in the early 1960s, when I was growing up, there was a silly pop song called What Did Washington Say When He Crossed the Delaware? Sung to a tarantella beat, the answer was something like “Martha, Martha, there’ll be no pizza tonight.” Of course, these lyrics were absurd; everybody knew Washington only ate cherry pie.
On that December night in 1776, George may have told himself that this raid on an enemy camp in Trenton, New Jersey, didn’t work, he might be ordering a last meal before the British strung him up. But as the general rallied his ragged, barefoot troops across the icy Delaware, one of his actual comments was far more amusing than those lyrics. Stepping into his boat, Washington nudged 280-pound General Henry “Ox” Knox with the tip of his boot and said, “Shift that fat ass, Harry. But slowly, or you’ll swamp the damned boat.”
According to A.J. Langguth’s fascinating history of the Revolution, Patriots, that is how Knox himself reported the story after the war. I certainly never heard that version of the crossing when I was in school….
Chapter 1
Brave New World
Few eras in American history are shrouded in as much myth and mystery as the long period covering America’s discovery and settlement. Perhaps this is because there were few objective observers on hand to record so many of these events. There was no “film at eleven” when primitive people crossed into Alaska, No correspondents were on board when Columbus’s ships reached land. Historians have been forced instead to rely upon accounts written by participants in the events, witnesses whose views can politely be called jaundiced. This chapter covers some of the key events during several thousand years of history. However, the spotlight is on the development of what would become the United States, and the chapter ends with the thirteen original colonies in place.
Who really “discovered” America?
“In fourteen. hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.” We all know that. But did he really discover America? The best answer is, “Sort of.”
A national holiday and two centuries of schoolbooks have left the impression of Christopher Columbus as the intrepid sailor and man of God (his given name means “Christ-bearer") who was the first to reach America, disproving the notion of a flat world while he was at it. Italian-Americans who claim the sailor as their own treat Columbus Day as a special holiday, as do Hispanic Americans who celebrate El Dia de la Raza as their discovery day. It would be unthinkable to downplay the importance of Columbus’s voyage, or the incredible heroism and tenacity of character his quest demanded. Even the astronauts who flew to the moon had a pretty good idea of what to expect; Columbus was sailing, as “Star Trek” puts it, “where no man has gone before.”
However, rude facts do suggest a few different angles to his story.
After trying to sell his plan to the kings of Portugal, England, and France, Columbus doggedly returned to Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain, who had already said no once. Convinced by one of their ministers that the risks were small and the potential return great, and fueled by an appetite for gold and fear of Portugal’s lead in exploration, the Spanish monarchs later agreed. Contrary to myth, Queen Isabella did not have to pawn any of the crown jewels to finance the trip. Columbus set sail on August 3, 1492, from Palos, Spain, aboard three ships, Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria, the last being his flagship. Columbus (christened Cristoforo Colombo) had been promised a ten-percent share of profits, governorship of newfound lands, and an impressive title-Admiral of the Ocean Sea.
On October 12 at 2:00 A.M., just as his crews were threatening to mutiny and force a return to Spain, a lookout named Rodrigo aboard the Pinta sighted moonlight shimmering on some cliffs or sand. Having promised a large reward to the first man to spot land, Columbus claimed that he had seen the light the night before, and kept the reward for himself. Columbus named the landfall—Guanahani to the natives-San Salvador. While it was long held that Columbus’s San Salvador was Watling Island in the Bahamas, recent computer-assisted theories point to Samana Cay. Later on that first voyage, Columbus reached Cuba and a large island he called Hispaniola (presently Haiti and the Dominican Republic).
Although he found some naked natives whom he christened indios in the mistaken belief that he had reached the so-called Indies or Indonesian Islands, the only gold he found was in the earrings worn by the Indians. As for spices, he did find a local plant called tobacos, which. was rolled into cigars and smoked by the local Arawaks. It was not long before all Europe was savoring pipefuls of the evil weed. (Tobacco was brought to Spain for the first time in 1555. Three years later, the Portuguese introduced Europe to the habit of taking snuff. The economic importance of tobacco to the early history of America cannot be understated, especially with respect to the later English colonies, where it literally kept the settlers alive. Powerful tobacco lobbies that influence government decisions practically arrived with the first European settlers.)
Still believing that he had reached some island outposts of China, Columbus left some volunteers on Hispaniola in a fort called Natividad, built of timbers from the wrecked Santa Maria, and returned to Spain. While Columbus never reached the mainland of the present United States of America on any of his three subsequent voyages, his arrival in the Caribbean signaled the dawn of an astonishing and unequaled era of discovery, conquest, and colonization in the Americas. Although his bravery, persistence, and seamanship have rightfully earned Columbus a place in history, what the schoolbooks gloss over is that Columbus’s arrival also marked the beginning of one of the cruelest episodes in human history….
Buy it: Paperback $13.95 ISBN: 0060083824 | Hardcover $26.95 ISBN: 0060083816
Get the e-book 10.95